Agglomeration

Very often we dream of people we love and expect them to stay in our lives until we wrinkle or settle in our graves, but how often does that really happen? Have we wondered how many people think of us the same way as they eventually give up on their lives and pass away? Even if we might not have thought about them, they still exist, knowingly or unknowingly. Just as I was wondering about how my aunt meant so much to me, I, like most others, didn't get a chance to say goodbye to her. The last goodbye that molded how she treated me, teaching me to treat others in the same manner, that goodbye that giggled when we were up to mischief behind my mother's back, that goodbye that enabled me to finally stand up for myself even when my dearest ones didn't support me at times. She will not only be missed, but I am most certain that she will continue to remain in the realms of my heart until my neck is wrinkled.

Along with the numerous people who in a way love and support others, there are also those who cannot stand to see one's success or joy. You, Oliver are one of those who are meant to be cherished with most value, not only in one's heart but in one's life. I don't see how anyone could take you for granted or neglect you because you are someone who deserves to get all the attention in the world even if you're doing nothing at all. Oliver, you have given me a kind of insight that I have never come across in my life, demanding me to be myself and execute every activity that I most dearly love. This connection may have been shaken at one point in time because of unnecessary lust, but this very connection can never be broken even if we wanted it to. Our rawness and realism is what makes it authentic, original and 'us'. We might take months to get closer but each step of closeness, both emotional and intimacy has only made us more humane over the months.

I love you Oliver for who you are, not for who you've been or your ridiculously creepy curly hair or your height or your skinny bum. I love you Oliver for your patience, your nonsensical laugh, your ridiculous PJ's, your successes in your workplace and your cute boss, your maturity, your music, your fruity ice cream choices, your hand, your fragrance, your touch, your humongous nose, your little eyes, your ability to stay calm throughout, your everything, except your name though. But I love you, irrespective. You have made me feel so happy in over the months that I haven't felt before, making me realize more and more everyday that I don't deserve you and that you deserve someone who is much better than me solely because I am nobody. I am humbled and blessed to have someone like you in my life, to even love me so much that I don't deserve, to see me eat Gulab jamuns even when you love them but will never ask only so that I could eat them. I love you for your little buttocks that I feel like spanking all the time because its sexy. I love you because you never touched me if I didn't want you to. You deserve so much more and I feel more than guilty to not be able to love you enough. But I promise, I'll do my forever best to love you harder, more gentle, more beautiful and more than I have ever loved anyone.